Marriage

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” – Matthew 19:6

“The love of husband and wife is the force that welds society together.” – St. John Chrysostom

The Sacrament of Marriage is the true joining of man and woman as one into the Body of Christ and His community.

Engaged couples (at least one person being Catholic) are welcome to celebrate this special day at St. Francis of Assisi Parish and are encouraged to seal this sacrament during the Holy Eucharist, which prefigures the Wedding Feast in the eternal Kingdom.

Newly engaged couples and couples seeking a Convalidation of their civil ceremony should complete the Initial Contact form here:

Marriage Preparation From

Formulario de preparación para el matrimonio

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After you have completed the forms, please contact the Parish office to discuss the steps to begin preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage. Marriage Preparation should begin twelve months before the marriage date.

For weddings or convalidations, contact (303)688-3025 or Marriage@stfranciscr.org

Wedding Booklet

Marriage Preparation

It is the responsibility of the engaged couple to complete the required programs at least one month prior to the wedding date.

If you are preparing at one Church and getting married at another married prep should be completed two months prior to the wedding.

Activities

The engaged couple will need to attend/complete the following:

FOCCUS– This involves completing a readiness instrument/questionnaire and meeting with a married couple from the parish. After the questionnaires have been completed and a report compiled, the couples will meet several times to discuss the results.
Theology of Marriage (in-person classes online options are available but must have the approval of the parish)
Natural Family Planning (in-person classes or online sessions)
Pre Mariage Retreat: This can be engaged encounter, a diocese retreat or a parish retreat. We will be able to provide you with the options when we meet with you.

Documents

Dispensation/Permission: If either party is not Catholic, a special dispensation/permission is required from the Diocese permitting the Sacrament of Matrimony to be conferred. Other permissions that may be required are for parishioners to be married in another Church (St Francis Parishioners getting married elsewhere or Parishioners from other parishes getting married at St. Francis), or for a priest from another parish to perform the wedding at St. Francis.
Baptism Certificates: Catholic members of the engaged couple will need to provide a new original baptismal certificate which has been issued within six months of the date of the wedding. The certificate is obtained by contacting the parish of baptism. A non-Catholic member of the couple who has been baptized will need to provide documentation of the baptism (a photocopy of the original baptismal certificate, a letter from parents or similar item).
Freedom to Marry: The bride and groom will each need one or two witnesses, usually a parent or sibling, to attest to their freedom to marry. This must be done in the presence of a priest or deacon as soon as possible, but no less than one month prior to the wedding.
Freedom to Marry(2): If the bride or groom have been married previously documentation of their freedom to marry will need to be provided, this may be in the form of a Declaration of Nullity (annulment) or a death certificate of the previous spouse.
Convalidation: When a couple has been married civilly on in a non-Catholic ceremony and wish to be Married Sacramentally in the Church we will need a copy of the civil marriage license.

The Music at Church

Of utmost consideration in a Catholic wedding is that the selection of music supports the celebration of the sacraments. Therefore, all music within the body of the Mass or marriage ceremony should be of sacred, scriptural, and/or liturgical nature. There may be popular songs, secular in nature and commonly used for weddings, that could be sung as prelude music. However, it is preferable that such secular music be used at the reception or rehearsal dinner. Accordingly, recorded music on CD or tape is not appropriate for use within the wedding liturgy. This usually includes an accompanist, (pianist) and cantor (singer).

Preparation for the musical portion of your wedding should begin by contacting the St. Francis of Assisi Director of Music and Liturgy at the parish office (303-688-3025 ext. 109, dbillings@stfranciscr.org) Contact him up to six months prior to the wedding, but no less than three months in advance to discuss your music and sound needs. If a musician outside the Parish is involved in music selection, the list of music must be presented to the Director of Music and Liturgy for approval no later than one month prior to the wedding, as all music selections should be determined by that time.

Planning the Ceremony

Marriages are to be celebrated in the parish church. The celebration of marriages takes place within the Mass when both parties are Catholic. The major elements are: The Liturgy of the Word, the consent of the couple, the celebration of the Eucharist, and the nuptial blessing. After the preparation program has been completed, the couple and the celebrant will plan the ceremony to fittingly stress the major elements of the liturgy.

Some portions of the ceremony are set forth in the Rite; others are traditional. For instance, the father may lead the bride to the altar and give her hand to the groom who is waiting for her. It is perfectly acceptable to come to the sanctuary this way, but it is not necessary. The engaged couple should discuss the details of the ceremony with their celebrant and the wedding coordinator so she may assist with details. The celebrant may help the couple choose the Gospel and readings that are most appropriate for their wedding. The options for Catholic weddings are available at: https://togetherforlifeonline.com/catholic-wedding-ceremony/. If the couple prefers not to access this information online, they can come to the office to receive the book. In either case the couple should have a first discussion with the wedding coordinator 60-90 days prior to the wedding about readings and other options for the wedding.

Fees and Stipends

Marriage Preparation: During the initial meeting with the priest or deacon, fees associated with the Marriage Application and preparation will be discussed. (Dispensations and permissions from the Diocese have a waived fee.) Requirements for Marriage Preparation include:

FOCCUS ($20-30)
Natural Family Planning (the cost -$100 to $180 - varies by provider; your insurance may cover some of this)
Theology of Marriage/Catholic Marriage Prep (at no-charge for the in-person class held at the parish, online classes may run up to $300, any online class must be approved by the parish.)
Pre-Marriage Retreat: Engaged Encounter weekend retreat ($300-$400 per couple, usually offered twice a year), Diocese Pre-Marriage one Day Retreat ($50.00, offered quarterly), St. Francis one day retreat (Free, offered twice a year).

If financial assistance is required, please discuss the available options with the priest or deacon assisting with your marriage preparation.

Facilities: At St. Francis we celebrate weddings for couples who have an established relationship with our parish, whether through their own active membership, their family's connection to St. Francis, or their ongoing support of our parish mission. If you're unsure whether you qualify, please reach out to us; we're happy to talk with you about your situation.

To support he ongoing mission of the parish a donation is appropriate. Generally, the donations are made to the building fund. A donation of $300 is the standard. If you do not regulatory support the parish in your giving, you may consider if a larger donation is appropriate.

Celebrant: It is appropriate to make a gratuity to the celebrant. In the case of a marriage within mass a standard gratuity is about $200. For marriage outside of mass a similar or slightly smaller gratuity is appropriate.

Musicians & Sound Technicians: The musician stipends are $200 for each church singer or accompanist who provides music on the day of the wedding.
The sound technician stipend, if necessary, is $75.

Wedding Coordinator & Other:

Wedding Coordinator stipend is $200.
Altar Servers, if requested, may receive a $50 stipend.
Musicians are $200 per musician
Sound Technician if needed, is $150
Decorations are available on request, and you can discuss with your wedding coordinator.

Other Policies

Scheduling: Most weddings are scheduled at 2:00 p.m. on a Saturday. The ceremony is scheduled for up to 1.5 hours in the church and includes rooms for changing and preparing (available 2 hours before and 30 minutes after the scheduled ceremony time). Reservations must be made with the Office Manager or Wedding Preparation Administrative Assistant. Weekday weddings may be arranged at specific request and are contingent upon schedule availability. Weddings are never scheduled on Sundays. Most rehearsals are scheduled for one hour between 3:30 and 6:30 p.m. on the day before the wedding, depending on other church events. Rehearsal times will be firmly set at the planning meeting with the wedding coordinator scheduled 60 to 90 days before the wedding.

Please note: St. Francis of Assisi is a vibrant and active parish with many activities on the calendar. Requests to change the time or date of the wedding
or rehearsal will need to be submitted in advance, in writing, and addressed to the Office Manager. Submittal does not guarantee approval. Thank you for planning ahead.

Parish Wedding Etiquette: The celebration of Mass is a holy occasion and should be experienced with the utmost respect. Your guests at the wedding are there to pray with and for you, to witness your sacrament, and to celebrate the beginning of your new life together. Encourage them to show the proper respect and reverence in the church. Wedding programs are a great opportunity to remind guests of proper reverence
in the church.

Wedding Coordination: All weddings require a parish wedding coordinator who will be assigned to you and should be contacted a minimum of two months in advance. She will help you understand what banners, displays, flowers, etc., will already be in the sanctuary on the date your wedding is scheduled. These are mostly liturgical and cannot be moved or removed.
The coordinator will provide information about Church facilities and/or equipment and will be present at the rehearsal (one hour), open and close the Church as needed for the ceremony, handle dressing room arrangements, and help with a myriad of other details on your wedding day (4 hours). The cleanup of items brought for the wedding and ceremony is to be done by the couple or wedding party. A fee of $200.00 is paid by check, made payable to the coordinator, prior to the wedding.

Photographers/Videographers: Pictures & videos, with or without flash and/or lights, may be taken when people and the bridal party are coming in or going out, before and after the wedding. All pre-wedding photography will end a minimum of 15 minutes before the ceremony. Please check with your celebrant about photography and video during the wedding ceremony. The photographer should not be seen after the initial walk down the aisle. All the rest of the photos should be taken with a telephoto lens. The videographer should be set up in the back/rear or side/rear of the Sanctuary and not be roaming around.

Examples of types of shots to avoid:

Photographer right at the ambo taking pictures during the homily.
Videographer setting up tripod in front of the bride’s family, blocking their view.

Flowers: Flowers may be placed on the floor but not on the altar itself. Decorating of pews, floor runners, flower girl silk petals must be discussed and approved by the wedding coordinator and are the responsibility of the couple to remove after the ceremony. All liturgical and church seasonal decorations cannot be moved.

Vows: Liturgical vows are used. There are a couple different options which can be discussed with the presider, but couples cannot write their own vows.

Extra activities in the Ceremony: All activities or traditional acts within the ceremony must be approved by the celebrant and the wedding coordinator. A unity candle is NOT appropriate in a Catholic wedding, but if you want to have one, you can do so at the reception.

Rice/Birdseed/Balloons/Bubbles/Flower Petals: Because of safety and cleanliness considerations, rice, Flower Petals and birdseed are not permitted either in the church building or on the church grounds. Balloons and bubbles are allowed outside the church building but may not be brought inside.

Liquor: No hard liquor or beer is permitted in the Church building at any time during the Wedding. If the reception is to be held at St Francis in the Assisi Hall, liquor consumption will be allowed per the guidelines outlined in the rental contract. Make an appointment to see the Office Manager for more details.

Fees and Stipends

9-12 Months Prior to the Wedding

Fill out Marriage preparation for on the parish website: https://www.stfranciscr.org/marriage
Schedule tentative wedding date and have initial meetings with priest or deacon to complete Prenuptial Questionnaire. (Approximately one year before the wedding date.)
If an interfaith marriage, a diocesan dispensation or permission is obtained.

3-9 Months Prior to the Wedding

Completion of Marriage preparation programs:
1. FOCCUS
2. Natural Family Planning
3. Theology of Marriage
4. Pre Marriage retreat
For Catholics: a new copy of original baptismal certificate is required.
For non-Catholic Christians: documentation of baptism.
Freedom to Marry forms: prenuptial testimony from witnesses for bride and groom as to their freedom to marry; signatures witnessed by a priest or deacon for both, regardless of faith. (Diocesan form)

6 Months Prior to the Wedding

Contact Don Billings, Director of Music and Liturgy to select music and discuss Musicians

60-90 Days Prior to the Wedding

A celebrant will be assigned and scheduled.
Contact Wedding Coordinator.
Policy instructions are given to florists, photographers, videographers, etc. (Discuss with wedding coordinator.)
Arrangements are made for musicians, sound tech, servers, etc.

30 Day Prior to the Wedding

All necessary documents completed and turned into the parish office one month prior to actual wedding date, or two if it is going out of the country.
Fill out the Wedding planning online form. Make sure you include all reading, readers, witnesses.
A meeting may be held with the celebrant to discuss the chosen readings, to finalize the details of the ceremony and confirm all required paperwork has been received. (One month prior to the wedding.)

St Francis of Assisi

Roman Catholic Church

Marriage

Wedding Booklet

Marriage Preparation

The Music at Church

Planning the Ceremony

Fees and Stipends

Other Policies

Fees and Stipends

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